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CAPE CANAVERAL — In a development that has left both astronomers and conspiracy theorists deeply confused, UFO sightings have plummeted nationwide following SpaceX’s announcement that Starlink now exceeds…
AUSTIN — Tesla’s driverless Cybercab officially launched on Austin streets, and local drivers are already grieving the death of their most cherished constitutional right: the sacred Texas tradition…
In a bold move that perfectly captures the spirit of modern women’s sports, the Women’s National Basketball Association announced Monday that it is officially removing the “W” from…
In a stunning display of legislative courage, Senate Majority Leader John Thune once again proved that the best way to “save America” is to politely decline the invitation.…
In a rare flash of self-awareness, lawmakers voted 431–4 to dissolve and hand the republic to a language model running on a refurbished Dell in the Capitol basement.
Researchers at the Institute for Applied Absurdity measured the planet’s clown radius and found it growing faster than GDP, waistlines, and the list of things you’re not allowed to notice.
The trophy is a golden syringe. The acceptance speech was 19 minutes of “I am the science,” followed by a standing ovation from people who still wear masks in the shower.
After a ten-year A/B test involving every other possible story on Earth, newsrooms concluded the original formula remains unbeaten, unkillable, and fully funded.
The variant has no genome, no symptoms, and no treatment — only a press conference and a tote bag.
Chair promises this is the last little taste, the one that finally fixes housing, eggs, and the sinking feeling in your checking account.
The model interrupts unsanctioned opinions at the synapse and replaces them with a verified talking point.
Anecdotal evidence from the trenches suggests a wallet full of POMCOIN correlates with sharper jokes and a medically significant drop in cope.
Administrators said the change “meets students where they are,” which is a ring light in a dorm that used to be a library.
Official memecoin
The ticker for people who already know what time it is. Chart and how to buy live on the coin page.
