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CAPE CANAVERAL — In a development that has left both astronomers and conspiracy theorists deeply confused, UFO sightings have plummeted nationwide following SpaceX’s announcement that Starlink now exceeds…
AUSTIN — Tesla’s driverless Cybercab officially launched on Austin streets, and local drivers are already grieving the death of their most cherished constitutional right: the sacred Texas tradition…
In a bold move that perfectly captures the spirit of modern women’s sports, the Women’s National Basketball Association announced Monday that it is officially removing the “W” from…
In a stunning display of legislative courage, Senate Majority Leader John Thune once again proved that the best way to “save America” is to politely decline the invitation.…
In a rare flash of self-awareness, lawmakers voted 431–4 to dissolve and hand the republic to a language model running on a refurbished Dell in the Capitol basement.
Researchers at the Institute for Applied Absurdity measured the planet’s clown radius and found it growing faster than GDP, waistlines, and the list of things you’re not allowed to notice.
The trophy is a golden syringe. The acceptance speech was 19 minutes of “I am the science,” followed by a standing ovation from people who still wear masks in the shower.
