CAMBRIDGE — Facing declining enrollment in anything that happened before last Tuesday, a flagship university has shuttered its history department and launched a TikTok Dance Minor with a required course in Personal Brand as Praxis.
The dean of humanities said the old curriculum “asked students to remember things,” which she called “a barrier to inclusion.”
A tenured professor of the French Revolution was reassigned to hold the ring light. He described the work as “not entirely unlike 1789, except the mob has better lighting.”
Parents paying $89,000 a year were assured their children would still graduate with a sense of the past — specifically, last week’s audio.
Satire. If you read this as a press release, please sit down and drink some water.