WASHINGTON — Sen. Bernie Sanders and Rep. Greg Casar unveiled the Ban Artificial Superintelligence Act on Wednesday, a bill that would permanently outlaw any system smart enough to replace a member of Congress, which critics noted is a lower bar than most voters already use.
The sponsors insisted the threat is existential. An ASI, they warned, could draft legislation, schedule hearings after the holiday recess, hold “listening sessions,” and cash donor checks without ever visiting a district barbecue. “That’s my job,” one anonymous senator whispered. “All of it.”
Under the bill, advanced AI would pause until a brand-new Department of Artificial Intelligence writes safety rules. After that, models would need federal approval before deployment — a process lawmakers described as “notice and comment,” which is Washington for “please don’t automate the committee chair.”
Supporters said the real danger is not robot overlords, but robot understudies. A pilot model allegedly produced a 40-page floor speech, three press releases, and a stern letter to a cable network in under a minute, then asked whether healthcare still required a quorum. Several AI lab employees endorsed the ban in their personal capacity, which is Silicon Valley for “I still need health insurance from a human boss.”
Violators could face a corporate “death penalty” and up to 20 years in prison, penalties sponsors compared to unlawful nuclear-weapons work. Interns asked whether “showing up and voting present” would also become a felony once the bots learn it.
President Trump, who recently floated renaming AI “super intelligence,” has resisted sweeping oversight. Sanders said the White House mainly fears the economic hit — especially to the consulting firms that currently do Congress’s thinking.
At press time, the proposed Department of AI was hiring 14 deputies to stop machines from taking the only jobs in America that already involve reading from a teleprompter and blaming the algorithm.
