Woke University Bans All Memes After Students Keep Sharing Accurate Ones
Administrators say the ban is necessary after memes repeatedly described campus policies with uncomfortable precision.
In a landmark victory for feelings over funny, Evergreen Progressive University announced a total campus-wide ban on memes after multiple students were caught sharing images that “mapped too closely onto observable reality.”
The Office of Narrative Safety released a 47-page memo defining a meme as “any image, caption, or reaction GIF capable of causing a student to realize something without first attending a workshop.”
“We support free expression,” said Dean of Vibes Marigold Softshoe, “as long as it does not imply that our gender-neutral parking fines or mandatory pronoun karaoke nights are slightly ridiculous.”
Students report that group chats have devolved into interpretive dance and carefully worded grocery lists. One junior was suspended after posting a photo of a clown planet with the caption “mood.”
Planet of Memes reached out for comment. The university replied with a 12-point PDF requesting we identify our preferred crisis counselor.
